Post Holiday Depression

Yep. I used the D-word. It’s a Friday night and I’m shocked that this time last week I was gearing up to head out of town for the holidays. It feels like at least a month has passed since then. I told everyone around me that I was okay turning 30. I am. What I’m not okay with is how fast the holidays seem to fly by. Sure, Nikoh’s birthday is this weekend and 2013 is filled with all kinds of fun stuff, but something about this year has hit me really hard.

I had a really scary incident happen yesterday where I passed out/collapsed. It turns out that there was nothing wrong, but I have to tell you with all sincerity, and at the risk of sounding over-dramatic…I thought I was going to die. The past couple of days have REALLY sucked.

I tend to find comfort in nostalgic things. Typically I’d grab an EGM magazine from 1994 or watch an old Coliseum Video tape, but right now…none of that seems to work. In fact, when I went on a nostalgia hunt on Ebay, it made things even worse. You have to understand something about me, and this is about as private as I get in a public forum like this, but the STUPIDEST things make me sad. Like, not just an “awwww sooo saaaad” but full-on DEPRESSED.

For example…


THESE Halloween costumes! Gah! I can’t even tell you…(but I’m going to!)

This one especially. Go ahead and titter! It’s a 1993 E. Honda Street Fighter II “budget” Halloween costume. You know the type. I’m pretty sure you can find them in certain circles of retail hell, but man were they everywhere when I was a kid. I can pinpoint a certain event in my life as to why they make me so depressed, but goes back further. You see, there was always some pitiful child in my class in grade school that had one of these for our school Halloween parade. Me? I went ALL OUT on Halloween, and it was a big deal to have the best, most current and hip costume I could manage! In 1992, I was the Penguin (Batman Returns). In 1994, I was The Mask (Jim Carrey). I won first prize for both of those costumes. I was happy to to have won, but I’d see the kids in THOSE costumes, and to just look sooooo defeated made me feel so incredibly guilty. I mean, they HAD to have known that they didn’t have a chance, but they entered the parade anyway. Here’s why these costumes continue to haunt me…

If you know me or have spent 15 minutes with me, you know that I LOVE Street Fighter II. Yes, TWO. Not three. Not EX PLUS ALPHA. Just plain old 2. Okay, and also the upgrades like Turbo and Champion Edition. But anyway, even though Street Fighter II was EXTREMELY popular back in 1993, finding Street Fighter II merch was still not as common as you would think. I want to say that this was even before the lovely Hasbro Street Fighter II GI Joe figures were even released. There was a discount store in town that I absolutely adored called Woolworth. It’s actually where I bought my original SNES! Soooo…one night, while out shopping with my mom and my little brother at the infamous Woolworth, we spotted the aforementioned E. Honda costume. I was pretty stoked to see this. Not only was it a unique and rare piece of Street Fighter memorabilia, but it featured what I personally would consider a ‘B’ character. You’d think that if they were going to make a Street Fighter Halloween costume that it’d feature a favorite like Blanka or Ryu, right? I guess not. Anyway, I was so jazzed to see it, and being the fanatic that I was, I wasn’t EVEN about to leave without it. The only problem was, I was probably 11 or 12 and a little husky. I wasn’t about to squeeze my fat into that jump suit. So, I did the unthinkable. Like, I literally think about this and become so disgusted with myself that it makes my blood boil. Remember what I just said about the PITY that I had for those children who’d parade around in those costumes? Welp, through pure evil manipulation, I convinced my little brother to be E. Honda for Halloween that year. God, I was such a piece of shit. So as you can imagine, when it was time for the first graders to take the stage…there he was, parading around as E. Honda. Can you imagine how many people probably asked my brother “Who are YOU supposed to be?” I guess that’s why they print it on the front of the jumpsuit. So stupid…That’s another thing about them. Personal opinion aside, THEY MAKE NO SENSE! “Hey, I’m E. Honda! How did you not know!? It’s WRITTEN ON MY CHEST!” Grrrr.

So, you get the picture? I have to live with that guilt. It’s no good. I also have a “thing” similar to the costume story with grocery store toy sections, talking plush dolls, and popcorn. I’ll save those for another cold, wet, December day.

Happy NEW YEAR! And to my brother Ryan…20 years later. I’m sorry I made you wear that for Halloween.


Fatman Returns

Hey gang. Last time I made a post, it was because I was putting together a shiny new portfolio. Well, good news…

I have a new job! I told everyone in my professional circles that I wasn’t ACTIVELY seeking a new job, and that this gig just sorta landed in my lap, but that’s not necessarily true. I’ve enjoyed my time teaching, but I hated my time working for a college. Does that make any sense? It’s not very tasteful to bash, and as of this writing I still teach there a couple of days per week, but what I do now is way less stressful, and being able to go out on top and leave on my own terms…it feels good.

I could continue to write more run-on sentences about my time teaching, but I’ll spare you. Let’s talk about something else…

Basement Tapes is on hold pretty much for good. At some point it may rear its had around. I don’t know. Yesterday I tried to do a mini version for the web where I reviewed an old Sailor Moon episode. Aside from trying to record quietly, it was a miserable failure. 3/4 of the through editing, I quit. It was really bad. I mean,  have to do it for real. No cutting corners. Stay tuned. Part of accepting this new job means ZERO free time, and producing a TV show requires quite a bit of it. I love the idea, but I need time.

Here are a few other things that are on my mind in case anyone is stalking me online…

CHRISTMAS! Less than 2 weeks away…

Nikoh is getting some awesome stuff. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t just as excited about his toys as he is. Wrestling figures, Sonic the Hedgehog race tracks, Ninja Turtles stuff…it’s like I get to be a child all over again.

WELLNESS! I fell off of the wagon when it came to using MyFitnessPal religiously, but I’ve maintained my weight loss and I’m back to using it full-time again. It feels great. I’m tempted to show a picture or two of what I looked like a few years ago. I was cleaning out an old hard drive and I was shocked at what I saw. I was a FAT dude. Like, seriously…fast food, and eating was a way to really cope with a lot of my troubles of the time, and to be honest, it was my escape. I found this video clip where I was filming some stuff at my apartment, and sure enough, right there on my desk were a big fat box of McDonalds Chicken Selects and 2 Double Cheeseburgers. That was a regular meal for me. Insanity.

VIDEO GAMES! I bought a WII U on day 1. It’s neat I guess. Okay, I won’t lie. It’s very disappointing. I can remember the Gamecube launch, waiting outside and midnight with all of my friends, playing Wave Race all night. This was just…bleh. No midnight launch, a weak line up, and no real WOW factor. I hope something comes along to change that soon. I see the potential in the machine, just…not feeling it at the moment.

LIFE IN GENERAL! Things are good. I have an amazing son, a talented, beautiful wife…it’s fantastic. Next year we hope to do a little more traveling and saving (which typically don’t go together) but when you have a kid as amazing as I do, everyday is something special and new.

Perhaps I’ll post again soon, maybe recapping some of my gift gets. Who knows? Right now, I’m a busy dude….